Since the Lord miraculously saved me at 16—a story for another time!—I have been fascinated with the topic of soteriology, or the doctrine of salvation. The church that I grew up in and got saved in did not really discuss the issues of election and predestination. They preached the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but they did not dive into those specifics. But, as is the case for any Bible student, it was not long before I began to face those texts that spoke of God's choosing and predestining. But what was I to make of them?
In my own reading of the texts, as well as my conversations with a trusted mentor, I came to a very basic Arminian understanding. That is, I believed that God knew who would believe and he chose those persons. I didn't really dive any deeper than that and such a position satisfied me—until college.
I was blessed to attend an excellent school that challenged me in many ways. One of the ways I was challenged was in my understanding of election/predestination. (No, election and predestination are not the same things, but I am using them to signify a complex of related doctrines). Many of my fellow students and some profs were or became enamored with John Piper. (A great, godly man, whom I still admire greatly!). I was already a big fan of John MacArthur by this point, as well. RC Sproul was also a big influence. Because of these factors, I was coming under the sway of Calvinism.
This "sway" under which I was coming was not something I particularly wanted to accept. I remember tossing and turning in my bed at night, wrestling with questions of God's providence and election. I think many Calvinists would honestly admit that the doctrines are hard to accept and usually cause a bit of recoil upon first hearing them. This recoil was my experience. I did not want to be a Calvinist.
Although I purchased some books on the subject that I was hoping would provide solid, exegetical answers to Calvinist interpretations, I was left disappointed. Back in my college days the resources on the internet and in book form were either not present or less accessible than they are today. And so, seeing no other option and wanting to be biblical, I embraced Calvinism.
I eventually came to love the so-called "doctrines of grace." (Non-calvinists believe in grace, too!). I found that there were tons of Calvinist resources and pastors out there for me to sink my teeth into. Calvinism gave a nice, systematic grid with which to approach the text of Scripture. Most of my theology professors were Calvinists and my friends, as well. It was great to be in the club! I even switched to the ESV and grew a beard :).
I remained with Calvinistic convictions for years. I read primarily Calvinist authors. I thought in Calvinistic categories. Every once in a while a doubt would flare up, but I would quickly put it to rest, primarily based on John 6 and Acts 13:48. (Believe it or not, I never found Romans 9 to be all that strong a proof for Calvinism).
However, several streams came together partway through my PhD work that made me doubt and eventually leave Calvinism. Most significantly, I began to see that the exegetical foundations of Calvinism were not as strong as I once thought—in my opinion, of course. A very long story short, I came to believe that Calvinism rested on a few selected texts, read in a certain manner. I also came to believe that the thrust of Scripture did not support Calvinism. I also found more resources to help me in this journey, resources that I was either not aware of, did not exist, or I did not have access to before. (Look for a follow-up post on recommended resources). I also began to have trouble with some of the implications of Calvinism, although I would not have left it if I believed it to be the only biblical option.
I could talk for longer about my journey, including a couple of times in the past few years where I have tried to make myself a Calvinist again, but I might save that for another post. This post is designed more to let people know where I was and where I am. I have spent years wrestling with these issues. On a confident day, I say I am an Arminian (hence Leiden) who also likes Molinism (hence Spain). However, on less confident days I might claim the label "tensionist," someone who believes that the streams of God's meticulous providence and election are in tension—but not contradiction!—with human responsibility. I'm still wrestling because I want to be biblical more than I want to claim a label.
I believe that God unconditionally chooses certain people to play certain roles in history and in his service. I also believe that all who are in Christ are chosen and predestined for all the blessings of salvation. I also believe that God knows his own from eternity past, not just in the sense of knowing facts about them, but knowing them personally and intimately.
I also believe that God truly implores people to come. I believe that people can resist the Holy Spirit's offer. I believe the Spirit convicts the world. I believe mankind is dead in sin but I do not believe that regeneration precedes faith. I believe Jesus Christ, at least in some sense, died for the sins of everyone. I believe everyone, until they reach a point of no return, has the actual possibility to be saved if they hear the Gospel and are convicted by the Spirit.
Some of you might read this and write me off, even if you know me personally. Calvinism has a dominance in much of the publishing world and Calvinist voices are often the loudest. But I would urge you to really study the issues and the texts, prayerfully and humbly. Read the Word in concert with theologians throughout the ages. And, most importantly, seek to glorify our Lord Jesus Christ. And remember, "everyone who calls on the Name of the Lord will be saved," and that name is neither John Calvin nor Jacobus Arminius, but Jesus Christ.
If you would like to talk more about these things, I would be happy to if I get the time. However, if you just want to attack me, I'm afraid I will try hard to not take the bait. Don't be a keyboard warrior. Instead, be a servant of Christ for his glory.
