I have preached a lot of funerals over the past year. Most were those of folks who were connected in some way with my church. One was for my uncle. All of them brought their own unique challenges, but all of them were opportunities to reflect both on the nature of mortality and the hope that is ours in Jesus Christ.
One statement that is common to hear, at least in Christian circles, is that people do not want their funeral to be a sad time, but rather a time of rejoicing. On the surface, this statement is admirable. This statement shows that the person has a confident faith in their eternal home with Jesus. This statement shows that the person wants their loved ones to have rest in Christ. But, ultimately, this desire betrays a misunderstanding of the biblical view of death and grief.
While Paul did indeed say, "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain" (Phil 1:21 NKJV) and he did speak of "having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better" (1:23), these are not the same thing as saying, "So celebrate when I die." There are two main problems with the view of "funerals as celebrations."
First, the Bible views death as an enemy, not as a positive occasion. The basic text for this idea is found in 1 Cor 15:25–26, where Paul is discussing some of the events surrounding Jesus' return. He writes, "For He [Jesus] must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death." Death is an enemy, and is, in fact, seen as the ultimate enemy that Jesus will destroy upon his return. Later on in the same chapter, Paul will show how death now is "defanged" in Christ, having lost its former threat for those who believe (15:54–57). (See also Heb 2:14–15).
In fact, we see a similar picture in Revelation. After Jesus' return, after the Millennial Kingdom, and after the judgment upon unbelievers, we read: "Then Death and Hades were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death" (Rev 20:14). Death is here personified and shown as being destroyed along with the other enemies of God. Why? Because death is an enemy.
Second, the Bible recognizes the legitimacy and importance of grief. This topic could fill several books, so I will just mention a couple of examples. Paul, when speaking of Christ's return, writes, "But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope" (1 Thess 4:13). This passage teaches us both that it is legitimate for us to sorrow over the death of loved ones (here, specifically, believers), and that our sorrow is different than those who do not know Jesus, because it is a sorrow shot through with hope.
Another key example of the legitimacy of sorrow is found in Acts 20. Paul has called the Ephesian elders to meet him at Miletus as he prepares to journey to Jerusalem. Paul makes clear that while he does not know the future, he believes he will never see these men again while alive. Let's look at the final paragraph of the passage: "And when he [Paul] had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. Then they all wept freely, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him, sorrowing most of all for the words which he spoke, that they would see his face no more" (Acts 20:36–38). Here we see the appropriateness of grief when it comes to earthly partings, of which death is the most significant.
I could go on and on. But I hope this brief blog post has helped you to reconsider viewing your own funeral as a time of rejoicing. If you know the Lord Jesus, then you should absolutely look forward to your eternity with him. But that does not mean that the grief of those who are left is not important and should not be experienced. Jesus wept at the death of a loved one, even though he knew he would shortly raise him from the dead (John 11:35). Death is an enemy. But, in our Lord Jesus Christ, it is a defeated enemy.
(If you would like to know more about the hope that can be yours in Jesus, please let me know in the comments!)
